Do you love your wife? If you answered “Yes” then you’d be wise pay very close attention to this photo and take a long hard look at that face. Why? It’s the face of the guy who’s going to fuck your wife right out from under you. Sex Horse. Remember his luxurious dirty Blonde mane…. it’s the mane that will turn your wedding vows to ashes. He’s banned from traveling to Belgium, a married woman sharing a simple gaze with him will get her stoned to death for adultery in Saudi Arabia, he wrecked several Hollywood marriages and ghost wrote an album for R Kelly. He lives in world of secrets, mostly sexual ones.
During the day society looks down on him, he’s a horse. What’s the highlight of his day, consuming agriculture, getting verbally abused by drunken farmers, being fitted with metallic shoes against his will? However, he’s more than happy to endure such treatment since he knows the night belongs to him and so does your wife. While you’re boarding that late night flight on business, he’s doing his grocery shopping. Shopping is easy for him since his list has just 3 things on it: 1) Condoms 2) Pantene Pro-V 2 in 1 Shampoo/Conditioner 3) Can of Red Bull.
He’s the Fabio of the animal kingdom, galloping about with that quiet confidence and only one thing on his mind. You might not hesitate to introduce him to your wife at a cocktail party, but you’d simply be making the same mistake made by many men that came before you. Once she looks into his eyes, she belongs to him. You stand zero chance against his blank stare, natural muscular definition, perfect hair, and sexual mechanics. To make matters worse, you have nobody to blame but yourself. If you were taking care of business he’d be out of business. He listens to your wife read her stupid poems to him, the ones that you don’t have time for. He DVR’s the Real Housewives Reunion so they can compare notes, not because he gives a shit, but because he knows he’s going to star in “50 Shades Of Neyyyyyyyyy” once you leave the fucking house for your kids softball game. When he told you he couldn’t play poker because he was playing tennis with a friend, the “friend” was your wife and the “tennis” was acrobatic marathon sex. Not only does he know what she wants before you do, he knows what she wants before she does. Take her for granted at your own peril for she is yours only while she isn’t his.
Sex Horse spent years in the barn just studying the Kama Sutra, lifting weights, and memorizing dialogue from every romantic comedy of the 1990s. He taught himself how to play the violin at age 4 because he was bored. When he comes walking down a suburban street, your street perhaps, the tapping of his shoes on the concrete is all it takes to bring the ladies out so fast you’d think the ice cream man was passing an elementary school. It’s not a matter of fairness, it’s just how Sex Horse lives. On any given night, if the air pressure is low, the oceans are calm, the crickets are quiet, maybe…..just maybe….you can hear Sex Horse having a smash-a-thon. Think twice before you mock him gentlemen.
There are two types of wives in this world, the ones who’ve been banged by Sex Horse and the ones who are going to be banged by Sex Horse.
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