I‘ve been a little hard on Japan in a few of my posts, so in the interest of fairness I’m going to pick on China now. China is one of those places where life is cheap, so not much surprises me when it comes to crazy China stories. Lead contaminated toys for kids, toxic Dog treats for pets, gas masks to walk outside, they’ve got it all. Just when the Chinese couldn’t show any less regard for their own safety they go and top themselves. That’s why I love you China, you keep me on my toes.
China just outdid itself with this guy. His wife drops her phone in the toilet and he decides he’s going to get it for her. Before I go further, I need to point out how awesome it is some Chinese woman had her phone while using the toilet. This shows there is in fact hope for a peaceful coexistence between our nations. They’re just like us. The Chinese are just as incapable of shitting without their phone as we Americans are. Now, when you think “No big deal she dropped it in the toilet”, consider that we aren’t talking about some standard toilet, we’re talking about one of those Slumdog Millionaire style shit boxes. An “Open Pit” toilet. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. He leaned in to find the phone but never had a chance, he was no match for the stench. This guy passed out from the smell and fell in. Then his mother, yes, his mother, went in for him. Would your mother dive into a pool of diarrhea for you? Don’t kid yourself, love has limits…except in China. To top it off, Six other people jumped in after them.
The kid in Slumdog Millionaire gets a pass because he dove in to retrieve an autograph of his idol, a prized possession. The little kid in Schindlers List hid in a shit box because Nazis were after him, he gets a pass, no question. A $320 phone? No way man, it’s just not happening, I don’t care if my wife is Bar Rafaeli or Selenza Gomez. Tell you what though, Charles Darwin was definitely onto something.